Do you remember how much time you spent wondering if your kids would ever stop hanging on your leg? Or crawling into your bed in the middle of the night? Maybe even play alone for awhile? Get a friend so that someone else might entertain them for a while? There have been so many days over the last 11 years that I drempt of the day. Longed for some time alone or a full conversation with another adult without one of the kids interupting with such necessities as a drink, a snack or just to be there in the middle of MY conversation. I in turn have spent an equal amount of time feeling quilty for wishing for the future. I know that I will miss all of the interuptions. All of the needs. Being the center of thier universe. The only one who can fix it all.
It seems to me that that time is fast approaching...and I can't help but feel left out!
Hunter is deep into middle school now. They don't send home notes everyday telling me how his day was. There is no homework to sign. They strongly encourage that they take responsibility for all of thier actions. Even the parent teacher confrences are student led. He is doing his homework on his own. And now with a huge mile stone behind me....he is staying home alone after school. I wanted to get home last night and find him in a slight panic...you know ...just enough to know that he needed me there. Instead I find that all of his homework is complete and he fed the dogs. Not only that but he tells me that he has a date. A DATE!!! Mind you it's just the school dance....but WITH A GIRL!
Then there is Lauren who is loving kindergarten. She has made so many new friends. Everyday she has a new "best" friend. The gossip (very funny coming from a 5 year old) and the boy chasing at recess offer me an endless longing for her to just be home with me again. As soon as she walks in the door it's not about having missed me. It's all about the snack and what friend is available to play with.
All that is left that they both still enjoy and that both Josh and I can give them is story time. I guess I will hang on to that as long as I can. I shouldn't have wished for all the growing up. Can you take it all back?
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